What It's About

The last couple weeks have been crazy. Lots of ups and downs, lots of firsts, lots of new things, and lots of old things resurfacing. I must remember, though, this is what I signed up for. And if I thought that I was going to just cruise my way through this and have everything come naturally, then there would be no point to all of this. But I actually am really really happy with things for the first time in a long time. And even if things happen and I can't be perfect at them, I still feel like I'm doing what I should be. So that's good. That's great.

I've come to conclusion that I put a lot of pressure on myself. Way too much. And I freak out leading up to everything, and then after it happens I think, "now why did I make such a big deal out of that?" Because in the grand scheme of things, this is what life is about. The bumps in the road. When I'm old, and my memory is even worse than it is now, I won't remember the days that ran smoothly. I'll be more likely to remember the big picture. So right now I'm in the process of learning to chill out and laugh a lot of things off. In this life I am planning for myself that is going to be a very important thing to be able to do. I know I am going into this field because I want to help others, but as they keep telling us, you must be able to take care of yourself, too! If you don't, then you are in no position to help anyone else. So, I'm working on that. Being less hard on myself.